In conversation with Debi Steven
Driven by a belief that all women and teenage girls should live a life free from the fear of sexual and gender-based violence, Debi Steven has for the past 20 years been working tirelessly for the empowerment of women. In her workshops, created to empower, educate and protect women and girls who feel they have no voice or support, she shares her belief with the participants that all women are BORN to defend themselves.
AH: Was there a particular event that shaped your life?
DS: I was raped at 11 years old in South Africa by someone that I knew and trusted.This is something really important because people are convinced that women are raped by a stranger but the reality is that a lot of the time it is by somebody that we know. I had no idea what was happening to me. I was ashamed and didn’t say anything at the time.
I competed in martial arts although my parents wouldn’t allow me to take classes as a child as I was a girl. I had to wait until I made my own money but realised that martial arts would not have helped me on that day. Over the next 25 years I wanted to know how I could protect myself, asked a lot of questions, taught self-defence and realised that I wanted to help people who really have nothing.
AH: What was the driving force behind starting Action Breaks Silence?
DS: I believe every woman has the right to live her life free from fear of sexual and gender-based violence. In 2013, driven especially by the growing incidence of violence against women in India, and my own personal experience, I founded Action Breaks Silence to offer my training FREE of charge to women and girls at risk of sexual or gender-based violence in India and South Africa.
AH: How did you build up Action Breaks Silence and develop it?
DS: Through my passion I want to tackle gender-based violence. My partner, Stephanie, gave up her job in the city and became our CEO. We built a team around us. We have taught over 30 thousand women and girls in India, South Africa and the UK without a corporate sponsor.
Getting the right people was key to developing Action Breaks Silence. We can give the skills to people who are as passionate about this as we are. It was important to find the right partners to reach as many people as possible. We trained local people who understood cultural differences, people that spoke local languages and lived in the community.
AH: What role do men and boys play in supporting empowering women?
DS: First of all, violence against women is not a women’s issue. It is a human issue. Every woman has got a father, every woman has a brother, every woman has an uncle. We have men in our lives who should be caring and protecting us as we should care and protect those people in our lives. I’ve always said as a feminist ‘who would I like to stand next to me in this fight?’ I would like a feminist man to stand next to me because I think we are stronger together. We have an incredible men working with us and our male instructors in India and South Africa are role models to many.
We also have a programme for boys, which for me is so important as unless we try to educate young boys and let them understand something like empathy or break down the stereotypes that they have against women then nothing is ever going to change.
AH: How do you deal with the darkness that you see all over the world?
DS: To be honest with you, it is very hard and sometimes very overwhelming. Because of my rape at such a young age, and because I didn’t share that with anyone, I’ve learned to deal with extreme trauma alone. In a way, if I look at how something positive came out of being forced to deal with such trauma, it’s that I’ve learned to put things into compartments. Although I am traumatised by the amount of violence that I see, thousands of girls talk to me about their experiences, sometimes it does get too much. But then I look at how inspired I am by the participants, I look at the bravery of the young women and girls that I have had the honour to have met and that helps meal deal with that darkness. They are the reason that I keep going forward.
AH: Who inspires you?
DS: I’m inspired by the survivors that I meet all over the world. On another level, I am inspired by Nelson Mandela and Annie Lennox and her fight against domestic violence and gender based violence.
AH: In what way can anyone support you and become involved with the work of Action breaks Silence?
DS: All support is needed as we are a charity with such big aspirations. It costs around £5 for a girl to go through our programme so any fundraising ideas are welcome or you could volunteer in India.
For further information visit: www.actionbreakssilence.org
(first published in Pride Life)
